Episode 15: 54-40 And Fight

Hello again readers, fans, family and friends.  I hope those of you in the USA had a great Thanksgiving!  Today, we review “54-40 And Fight!”.  It originally aired on January 9th, 1970.  In this episode, the plot devices that would come to define the Brady Bunch are in full swing.  We have boys against girls, contests and the absurdity that made the show so memorable.  It’s good to see these things again as some of the other season one episodes have been light on them.  So, let us get started on our review of “54-40 And Fight”!

The episode opens with the four oldest Brady kids enjoying milk and cookies.  They must have eaten a huge pile of cookies as it took three quarts of milk to wash them all down.  In a humorous line, Greg states there is never anything to eat around the house while shoving the last cookie in his mouth.  Alice enters carrying two bags of groceries.   When asked if she has more cookies, she replies with a line I could not make out.  It sounded to me like “That’s like asking Garcee if he’s got any messages?”  Any readers who might know what Alice was saying here, I would love for you to chime in via the comments section and let us know.  The kids are searching the grocery bags for more cookies when Marcia finds two sheets of Checker Trading Stamps.  Ownership is immediately contested amongst the boys and girls.   The girls have been saving for a sewing machine and the boys for a rowboat.  Could the writers not think of something else the boys might want to save stamps for?  Unless there is a stream or lake behind the backyard fence, it is hard to imagine the boys getting much use out of a rowboat.  Sure, it could occasionally be loaded up on top of the station wagon and taken to a body of water, but how often is that going to happen?

Ooooooh.

As the boys and girls dispute ownership of the trading stamps, Alice stokes the fires of contention a little more by revealing an entire draw full of trading stamps.  The kids all give a collective “ooooh” as they marvel over the purchasing power that lay before them.  It seems space is not a premium at the Brady home if an entire draw can be devoted to something that would fit much more easily into a folder or binder.   Just as the argument is about to erupt, Carol comes through the front door with Bobby and Cindy.  She bemoans her decision to take the two youngest with her to the department store on bargain day.  She welcomes the peace and quiet of home when the fight starts in the kitchen.  Bobby comments on how that doesn’t sound quiet and Cindy adds it is “not very peace”.  This line fits well into the “dumb Cindy” trend of season one, but this time around it was pretty cute.

Carol enters the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about.  Alice says, she should have “kept her big drawer shut”.  Hindsight is 20/20 for Alice.  Did she not see this issue arising, especially after how contested the first two books were  between the boys and girls?  It seems the writers still had not decided on Alice’s level of smarts at this point.  After hearing the kids out, Carol says a rowboat is not a silly thing to want.  Mike enters mid-argument and touts the value of a sewing machine.  Now that the dispute is in full swing, Alice bows out to go give Tiger a bath.  Mike offers the most reasonable solution to the dilemma by suggesting the kids split the excess books up between them.  With this happy resolution, Greg and Marcia are forced to smile.

Regular viewers of The Brady Bunch will experience dejavu as the next scene opens.  The scene with Alice bathing the dog in the previous episode “Katchoo” is reused here.  The boys are out on the patio pasting their stamps into the books while the girls are doing the same in the family room.  Bobby needs to spit as the arduous task of licking and pasting has given his tongue a workout.  Cindy has broken the monotony of licking and pasting by creating artwork from the stamps.   I couldn’t help but think that the trading company would likely consider such a sheet invalid and that these stamps were wasted.  Neither Marcia nor Jan chide Cindy for her actions though.

Look at how many stamps I wasted.

As the licking and pasting continues, Greg notices two books of stamps are missing.  He immediately suspects the girls of looking to increase their stampflow to which they flatly refuse and return the accusation against the boys, as some of their stamps are missing too.  Mike intervenes and tries to suggest the wind blew the stamps away.  Greg and Marcia both confirm no air was moving.  Greg says the stamps could not have just walked away, but Mike quickly sees that is exactly what happened.  Tiger enters covered in Checker Trading Stamps.  Somehow, he was able to walk out through the family room and out to the patio and unbeknownst to the boys and girls and have a few books of stamps attached to his fur.  He must be part fox as that is some sly dog maneuvering.  It seems a cheap filler gag was needed to lengthen the episode and this was it.  I never remember seeing this scene before the most recent viewing.  On the DVD, the picture quality takes a dip during these scenes which leads me to believe it had long been cut from syndication.

In the living room, Mike and Carol discuss how the Checker Trading Stamps and the kids love for material things have turned the household into “the Hatfields versus the McCoys”.  Carol decides to take action and has all the kids assemble on the patio.  Over a plate of cookies, she encourages all the Brady children to act in one familial accord and decide on something everybody will enjoy.   The kids are surprisingly agreeable to this and take to studying the catalog.  All is well in the Brady home again, but not for long.  Greg and Marcia soon approach Mike and Carol with their decision: to let Carol decide what to get.

The decision is, no decision.

Carol agrees to this but lets Mike know the problem is not only her’s, but his too.  He agreed to marry her for better and for worse, and this would fall under the worse category.  That night in bed, Mike and Carol try to decide on something the entire family would enjoy.  Carol suggests an exciting grandfather clock that can be put in the hall for all to enjoy.  Mike says the boys will get nothing out of this as they just ask him what time it is.  Mike then suggests a pool table.  Where they would put this thing isn’t made clear, unless it was one of those where the legs fold up.  However, Carol says girls have no interest in shooting pool, to which Mike reminisces about an old girlfriend who enjoyed billiards.  Carol will hear nothing of the women of Mike’s “lurid” past.  After all of two suggestions, Mike and Carol declare the dilemma unsolvable.  It is decided that there is no rush, they will just keep collecting the books until everybody has enough for what everybody wants.

 

The next morning’s newspaper shatters the peaceful resolution reached the night before.  Checker Trading Stamps will be closing its doors in 30 days!  The company’s decision again demonstrates before the whole world the great vital force.  At least that is what the newspaper article says.   The article also has the strangely worded line “To repeat, the Checker Trading Stamp…”  It seems the newspaper could use a better editor.  Just as Mike says the bad news must be shared with the kids,   they all walk through the kitchen, in a march fitting for a funeral procession, listening to this tragic news.   If those stamps are going to be redeemed for something, it will have to be soon!

With the conflict renewed, the boys sit in their bedroom, deep in thought, about a stamp purchase that will meet the lowest common denominator: something everybody will enjoy.  After Cindy delivering quite a few idiotic lines in season 1, it is finally Bobby’s turn.  He suggests a diving board for a pool they don’t have.  By his rationale, it being completely useless to both boys and girls makes a diving board a good use of the stamps.  Peter suggests electric trains and says they could add curtains to the windows to please the girls.  Over in the girls’ room, their brainstorming is proving equally fruitless.   Cindy suggests a hair dryer, but Marcia shoots the idea down since boys don’t use hair dryers.  Jan queues the laugh track saying, “They should, boys have longer hair than girls these days.”

Down in the den, Mike and Carol briefly discuss the dilemma when Alice informs them she thinks the negotiations have made progress as she just saw the boys enter the girls’ room.   Sure enough, Greg and Marcia enter the den with the news that that all the kids

Don’t mind me, I am just dusting.

 

have agreed to resolve the issue via  a contest.  It will be boys against girls, winner take all. While initially leery of this decision, Mike and Carol agree to it.   Now, the new challenging decision to be made is what kind of contest.  Alice enters under the guise of dusting, looking to eavesdrop on the conversation.  The challenge of picking a contest is almost as hard as picking an item from the catalog as it seems nothing can be found that at least one of the six kids isn’t a champ at.  Among the contests suggested are Ping-Pong, swimming, a relay race, hopscotch and weightlifting.  Alice’s eavesdropping pays off when she suggests the “game with the cards, building houses”.  Mike declares her idea as perfect.

 

Barry Williams notes in “Growing Up Brady” that the color of Peter’s shirt changes between shots during the card house construction.  I played it back a few times and never saw this.  The card house contest commences with Mike and Carol declaring themselves the umpires and allowing Bobby and Cindy to start.   Tensions run high as Bobby suggests Cindy is not a lady and Cindy says he’d better recognize her as one or she will bop him.  As the house of cards grows, so does the tension!  Marcia’s bracelet threatens to topple the fragile structure.  Jan says even if it did, that wouldn’t count.  Peter says that everything counts and this rule is supported by Mike and Carol.  A few minutes later, we see Marcia putting on the next card, with her opposite hand holding the bracelet back.  Why did she not just take it off?

 

After the card house reaches heights that tower over Bobby and Cindy, Mike and Carol deem the game too nerve wracking for the kids.   How were Bobby and Cindy even contributing at this point?   Mike suggests the kids flip a coin to determine ownership of the stamps, but all the kids want to continue the stressful endeavor.  Well, Tiger decides he needs a whiff of Greg’s backside and ruins it for the boys.  As Greg is adding his card, Tiger enters the living room and rubs his face around Greg’s rear, sending him forward and toppling the house of cards.   If you look closely, as Greg falls forward, Tiger is nowhere to be seen behind him!  We do get a shot of Tiger exiting the living room.

Where is Tiger?????

 

With the house of cards toppled, the Checker Trading Stamps are now the property of the girls.  They give a sarcastic gracious overture and then go upstairs to get their sweaters.  Mike says it doesn’t matter if you win or lose but how you play the game.  Carol says that the guy who coined that phrase didn’t lose his rowboat to a bunch of girls.  As the boys look over the table of cards, one can’t help but notice a built segment that remained assembled after the house toppled.  How hard would it be fore the director or a crew member to notice this and take it off the table?  Robert Reed even pushes it down with his finger and watches it pop back up as the scene closes.

The entire house didn’t collapse.  The game can continue!

The next scene opens with Carol and the girls arriving at the Checker Stamp Trading Store.  Kudos to the set dressers for creating an entire storefront, sign and all, for just an establishing shot.  Carol and the girls exit the car only to find the store closed!  Inside a beleaguered man is cleaning the store after a long and tiring day.  Carol pleads with the man to open the door and allow the girls to redeem their stamps.  He initially refuses, but Cindy’s plea does not go unheeded and he opens the door. The girls begin to rehash the card house story, but he doesn’t care and just wants them out of the store as soon as possible.

“Oh please Mister.”

 

The man initially has trouble finding the sewing machines. At first he finds a home beauty salon and reads off the product description. Upon hearing this, all three girls give consecutive affirmations of “yeah”, to which Carol replies with “Nooo.” For some reason, this line always made laugh and still does. As they meander around the store in search of the sewing machine, one will notice several smaller toys and items on the shelves. How many books of stamps are needed for these smaller items? If it takes 94 for a big ticket item like a sewing machine, grandfather clock or pool table, how many would be needed for one of the smaller toys? Maybe that model airplane or toy robot was 89 books and the really cool stuff 94.

How many books for a model airplane or a watering can?

The poor clerk must have been very frazzled as the sewing machines are in plain sight just across the room.  He describes both models available and finds Carol and the girls equally split on which model they want.  The poor man’s day just got longer.  The Checker Trading Stamp clerk, listed in the credits as Harry, was played by Herb Vigran.  He stayed busy through the years doing bit parts and voice work for cartoons.  He did have a recurring role as Judge Brooker on “Gunsmoke” and Mr. Dinkle on the 1980’s Saturday morning animated classic “Shirt Tales”.  His final appearance was in 1987’s “Amazon Women On The Moon”.  He died in 1986.

Herb Vigran as “Harry”

 

In the next scene, Carol and the girls arrive home while Mike and the boys sit  in the living room.  Mike says the boys must be good sports and look at the new sewing machine.  The girls have a surprise in store for the boys.   They didn’t get the sewing machine after all. They have come home with a new color TV set!   Carol admits to prodding the girls a bit to agree to the TV set.  All the kids marvel over it and Mike stirs the pot one more time for laughs by asking “Whose room is it going to go into?”  The kids all laugh and the scene ends.

The new color TV set makes for a very happy ending for all the Brady kids.  However, one must wonder why this was not considered before.  All eight of the Bradys had looked the catalog over, some of them several times, and made many suggestions.  Had this TV set they were now oohing and ahhing over been overlooked during each pass of the catalog?  Another thing I noticed was that the Bradys’ old TV set could be see seen behind the girls while the card house was being erected.  I guess it ended up beside the road or at the Goodwill the following day.

The old TV was not long for the Brady home.

The epilogue has Mike and Carol gushing over a cake Alice is serving.  Alice shares that the fabulous dessert came from a new bakery in town.   While the Bradys have a wonderful new source for baked goods, they have a new problem too.  The new bakery offers Gold Circle Trading Stamps!  Hopefully they will be distributed evenly among the kids and not just tossed in a drawer!

 

Thank you readers for reviewing this episode with me!  As always, your thoughts and comments are most welcome!  Next week we will review “Mike’s Horror-Scope”.  I remember very little about this episode and based on it’s description, I would have thought it was the same one that had  Cindy dressing as Shirley Temple at the end.  That ridiculousness is still several seasons away.  Have a great weekend!  See you all next week!