Episode 18: The Subject Was Noses

Greetings once again readers and friends.  Today we review “The Subject Was Noses”.  It is a fun episode with a nice lesson about vanity and pride.  It first aired on February 9th, 1973.  The title seemed peculiar until I read that there is a play, later followed by a movie, titled “The Subject Was Roses”.  The plot of the play/film as described on Wikipedia bears no resemblance to this episode.  Let us begin our review of “The Subject Was Noses”!

The episode begins on the campus of Westdale High.  Marcia and her friend Vicki discuss what a great football game the school’s team played.  The team’s fine playing ability is attributed to its best player, Doug Simpson.  Marcia and Vicki both find him dreamy.  As they gush over the star athlete, he approaches them.  The hunky football star asks Marcia to a dance on Saturday.  Marcia accepts right away and in the excitement of the moment, forgot she had all ready told another boy, Charley, that she’d go out with him that same night.   Check out the size of the W on Doug Simpson’s letterman’s sweater.  That thing looks huge!  Maybe this was/is the norm though.  My high school had only letterman jackets.

Lisa Eilbacher

Marcia’s friend Vicki was played by Lisa Eilbacher.  She appeared in several TV shows through the 1970s.  She was a regular on The Hardy Boys /Nancy Drew Mysteries.  She was in the feature films “An Officer And A Gentleman”, “Beverly Hills Cop” and “The Last Samurai”.  Her final appearance listed on IMDB is a 1996 TV movie.

 

 

Back at the Brady house, Greg is oiling the chain on a bicycle.  As he does so, Charley arrives with an armful of wallpaper samples for Mike and Carol.  He inquires if Marcia is around.  It is obvious here that Charley is quite enamored with the oldest Brady girl.  Inside, Alice has just pulled some cookies from the oven and starts putting them in the cookie jar.  Let’s hope she let them cool a while in the oven as fresh cookies in a cookie jar would result in misshapen cookies or a giant cookie glob!

Back outside, Marcia arrives home and seeks Greg’s advice for breaking a date.  Greg initially suggests an outright lie of being sick or going out of town.  Marcia declines those, not for honesty’s sake, but because Charley might see her at school.  The date is for a Saturday, so the out of town lie might have worked.  If either lie was used, it might get back to Charley through Doug or his friends that Marcia was out with him.  Telling a lie is never good anyway, honesty really is the best policy. Greg then encourages Marcia to use a vague version of the truth by stating “Something suddenly came up.”

 

 

Back inside, Alice and Carol look at wallpaper samples and the b-plot begins.  Alice holds up the headache inducing wall covering that the shifty Jennifer had in her room in “Greg’s Triangle”.  The samples Charley brings over look more like full on rolls of wallpaper.  Maybe he was being extra generous due to his interest in Marcia.  I know little about wallpaper, so maybe samples this large are the norm.  Readers, feel free to educate us here.  I remember wallpaper being a trend in the 80s, but haven’t seen it used in new construction or redecorating in years.

As Charley leaves, he encounters Marcia. She breaks their date with the “Something suddenly came up” reason.  Charley, while disappointed, is understanding.  He asks if they might go out some other time.  Between this scene and his interaction with Alice and Carol, Charley is shown to be a good dude.

 

 

Upstairs, Mike and Carol compare two wallpaper samples and are on total opposite ends of the spectrum in what they like.  Mike wants the straight and orderly simplicity offered by striped wallpaper.  Carol is in favor of roses adorning the bedroom walls. Alice enters and praises both of their opinions, but won’t give one of her own.  Bobby and Cindy both vote along the same gender lines as Mike and Carol.

Over in Greg’s room, a conflicted Marcia thanks him for his advice.  She feels horrible about breaking her date with Charley, but great about her date with Doug Simpson.  Oh what a tangled web is weaved when it comes to matters of the heart.  This is a very realistic emotion one can experience while dating.

 

 

The next scene begins with Jan and Cindy playing checkers in the family room.  Charley arrives with another armload of wallpaper samples.  Jan mentions Marcia’s conflicted feelings, but then tells Cindy she is too young to understand.  Seconds later, Marcia arrives home courtesy of Doug Simpson.  He has given her a ride in his sporty convertible.  As he opens the car door for Marcia, he tells her she makes his ride even more beautiful.  Jan dashes outside to prevent Doug from encountering Charley inside.  Marcia invites Doug in for a cold drink and Jan nervously shares they are all out of cold drinks.  Marcia, not picking up Jan’s vibe, invites Doug in for a cold piece of fruit.  Jan nixes this too and awkwardly explains the house is a mess via wallpaper samples that did not walk over by themselves.  Marcia finally catches Jan’s drift and agrees with her and sends Doug away.  If it weren’t for a phone conversation Doug and Marcia have a few scenes later, I would have suggested it was her and Jan’s kooky behavior here that led him to break their date later in the episode.

 

 

The b-plot changes from wallpapering the bedroom to painting it.  Once Mike and Carol agree on a wall covering, Carol suggests the room will need additional updates to include carpet and the bedspread.  Not wanting to take on the extra cost and work, Mike and Carol decide to paint the bedroom instead.

 

 

In the backyard, Bobby and Peter are enjoying a game of football.  They are imagining they are playing against another team.  Marcia is on the phone with Doug and they discuss Saturday’s plans and how hard it is to hang up the phone and end their conversation.  Carol asks Marcia to step outside and tell the boys to come in and straighten their room.  Marcia is knocked off her cloud of young love as a football pelts her in the nose.  This is one of those iconic Brady Bunch moments that brings with it a forever remembered line.  “Oh my nose!” is often referenced when poking fun at the show.  Back in the 90s, TV Land’s website even offered it as a downloadable sound of Marcia saying it for a home computer.

 

 

Marcia’s swollen nose brings her misery on every level.  With even the sight of it, she states, “There goes my date with Doug Simpson”.  Up in their room, her sisters offer comfort.  Jan suggests that Doug is used to swollen noses since he is a football player.  Cindy compliments the shade of blue that makes up Marcia’s bruises.  She then adds she is proud to be Marcia’s sister no matter how terrible she looks.

 

 

The folly that is painting Mike and Carol’s room make up the next few shots.  Jan hands Peter a wet paint brush. Bobby and Cindy play tic-tac-toe on a door using window trim paint.  Such shenanigans are not tolerated and the youngest Bradys are ousted from the work detail.  Greg uses an unusual painting technique that sees the wall and doorframe painted in one horizontal stroke.  Unfortunately for Alice, his technique causes him to brush across her face as she opens the bedroom door.

 

 

The next scene begins back at Westdale High.  Marcia is walking about campus hiding her swollen schnozz.  Maybe high school gossip wasn’t what it is today back in 1973.  It seems it would take only one chatty classmate to spread the news of Marcia’s injury with other students who would in turn spread it until the news reached Doug Simpson.  When Marcia unexpectedly encounters Doug, she tries to hide her face in the water fountain.  He wants to walk her to her next class, but she declines as she continues to take a long drink.  Doug jokes that she must be part camel.  The laughter abruptly stops when Marcia finally looks Doug’s way.  The look on his face is one of shock and disappointment.  Marcia explains what happened.  Doug tells Marcia the reason he wanted to walk her to class was so he could let her know he must break their Saturday night date.  If this didn’t sting enough, he says, “Something suddenly came up.”  Whether or not Doug really did find himself with a conflict is a mystery left to time.

Nicholas Hammond

Doug Simpson was played by Nicholas Hammond.  He has enjoyed a long and busy film, television and stage career.  His most notable film was “The Sound of Music”. He has been a part of too many TV series to mention here.  A notable starring role he enjoyed was that of Peter Parker/Spiderman in the live action series from the late 1970s.  IMDB lists acting credits for 2018, so he is still working today.  He now lives in Australia.

That night, Mike and Carol bed down in the family room.  Their own bedroom reeks of paint fumes.  In a glowing continuity error, Carol says it will be the first time they’ve slept in different beds since they were married.  Regular viewers will recall two occasions in the first season when they slept apart.  When the family went camping, Carol shared a tent with the girls and Alice while Mike was with the boys.  The second occurrence in the first season was “The Big Sprain” when Carol was away taking care of a sick relative.  Readers, there may be other occasions I am forgetting.  Please share if you recall any others.

 

 

The episode’s talking to occurs in the alternative sleeping accommodations.  Marcia shares her regret at breaking her date with Charley to go out with Doug.  Carol agrees that Marcia doing so was not very nice.  Mike says Marcia’s problem is not a swollen nose; it is a bruised conscience.   Marcia’s nose looks particularly banged up in this scene.

 

 

The next day, Cindy and Jan’s efforts to cheer Marcia up fail.  Charley then arrives to pick up the paint brushes.  Did the Bradys rent some paintbrushes from his dad’s store?  Maybe they felt guilty for trying out so many wallpaper samples that they threw some painting tool rental business the man’s way.  Ever the good fellow, Charley asks Marcia for a date on Sunday since she is busy Saturday.  She declines as she can’t go on a date with her nose out of joint.  Charley says he wants to take out all of Marcia, not just her nose.  It is a clumsily romantic line that works for the character.

Stuart Goetz

Charley was played by Stuart Goetz (listed as Getz for this episode).  He would stay busy acting on TV and in films through the 1970s.  His only recurring role was as a voice actor in the animated series Ring Raiders.  His last job acting was in another voice role in 1993 on Rocko’s Modern Life.   While he has not been in front of the camera much, he has remained a presence in Hollywood.  He has a very long list of music editor credits; The Vampire Diaries is his most recent and it is dated 2017.

The next day starts well for Marcia.  She awakens to normal nose.  There is not even a hint of bruising or swelling!  Marcia returns to school with her good looks and Doug Simpson notices.  He tells Marcia his aunt had a change of plans and he is now free on Saturday night.  Marcia declines saying “something suddenly came up”.  Either Doug is a crafty fibber and had the visiting aunt excuse at the ready or his initial cancellation and offer to rescind the cancellation were legitimate.  It is left to our imaginations to know for sure.  Readers, your thoughts are most welcome.

 

 

Marcia encounters Charley nearby.  She confesses to him the true reason she broke their date and asks if he will still take her out on Saturday.  He agrees what she did was lousy, but is the forgiving type and will go out with her.  Just so we know what a clumsy average joe he is, he does the most outlandish thing imaginable.  Somehow, he ties his own shoelace around the bench post and as he tries to walk away he falls.  Good grief, if Charley’s shoelace was so long that he could accomplish this, he’d be tripping all day.  It was a weak attempt to exhibit what a lovable dope Charley is.

During the school yard scene, the sign seen in background (pictured above) caught my eye.  Did any of you ever attend a school that had a separate vice principal for boys and girls?  I can’t imagine why two vice principals would be needed or why limited school budgets allowed for such.

 

 

Marcia arrives home from her date with Charley and shares what a nice time she had.  While she and Charley dined after the movie, they encountered Doug Simpson out and about.  He began teasing Marcia about breaking their date to go out with Charley.  The likeable fellow was having none of this belted Doug in the nose, sending him home in humiliation.  Mike and Carol express concern that Marcia is dating a boy with such an explosive and violent nature.  Actually, they don’t.  Upon hearing of the altercation, they assumed it was Doug who hit Charley.  Marcia feigns ignorance about her own vanity and concern about her looks as she mocks Doug’s quick exit from the scene.

The epilogue concludes the b-plot.  Mike and Carol have repainted their bedroom and it looks exactly the same as it has since season one.  Carol notices something different as the improvement she sees has her wanting to paint the rest of the house.

Thank you for reviewing “The Subject Was Noses” with me.  Before revisiting it for this review, while it is a fun story, I recalled it being a much more so.   As I watched it this time around, it was enjoyable enough for The Brady Bunch.  The story was solid and believable.  The acting was good and we got to enjoy some guest stars.  However, other than Marcia’s getting pelted in the face with a football, there was not too many memorable moments.  Maybe if Marcia had a huge zit on her nose, the story might have had more potential for fun.  This worked on The Wonder Years when Kevin found himself blemished.  I’ve noticed that the past few stories that centered on Marcia leaned much more towards drama than comedy.  Readers, your own thoughts and observations are most welcome.  Next week we will review “How To Succeed In Business?”.  It is another one I remember being a fun episode.  I hope my memory serves me correctly!