Episode 5: Peter and the Wolf

Hello again readers, family and friends!  Thank you for joining me today to review “Peter and the Wolf”.  This episode may be my favorite of the series.  I had not seen it in years and had forgotten just how funny it is.  Season five gave us some of the best and worst scripts of the series.  Tam Spiva wrote this episode.  Some readers may recall that he was the script consultant to previous seasons who saw that the show maintained a level of realism to Robert Reed’s liking.  If his pen gave birth to episodes like this, it is too bad he did not write more.  Let us begin reviewing “Peter and the Wolf”!

 

 

The episode begins on the high school campus.  Greg and his buddy Len discuss Greg’s good fortune in landing a date with Sandra Martin.  Greg went to great lengths for an evening with this girl.  He even started a rumor that she dated only college aged men so that his competition would be lessened.  A few seconds later, the most beautiful girl on campus shares bad news with Greg.  She has to break their date!  As it turns out, her cousin Linda will be visiting the night of their date and Sandra can’t leave her home alone while out with Greg.  Greg inquires as to Linda’s looks, but Sandra has not seen the girl in six years.  It is hard to imagine not laying eyes on a relative for six years, but in the days before social media and instant cameras, it was more likely.  Greg asks if the date may be kept if he can find a date for Linda and Sandra agrees.  Was Sandra’s social calendar so booked that she and Greg could not go out the next weekend or another night?  Maybe we can attribute the lack of social flexibility to teenage hormones and a young person’s need to have things here and now.

Greg asks Len if he’d be willing to be Linda’s date that night.  He says no chance.  In a funny line, Greg suggests Linda might look like a million bucks and Len says with inflation, that’s nothing to be excited about.  Greg asks Len as a friend to join him on the date, but he says there is a difference between friendship and human sacrifice.  In the next scene, we see Greg going through his address book in search of a date for Linda.  I could not help but think that at least one classmate would agree to the blind date if for no other reason than to curry favor with the highly popular Sandra Martin.

Greg’s no helping friend was played by Bill Miller.  His acting resume is not very long.  He last acted in 1991’s “Silence of the Lambs”.  Prior that, IMDB lists only three acting credits, including this episode.

The b-plot begins as Mike arrives home from work.  He shares with Carol that the two of them will be entertaining a Mexican client, Mr. Calderon, and his wife on Saturday night.  Looking to accommodate them, Mike wants he and Carol to brush up on their Spanish.

 

 

Up in the boys’ room, Peter is celebrating five hairs growing on his chin.  Bobby says the facial hair is likely just fuzz from a towel.  This gave me a chuckle.  Peter asks Greg to borrow his razor to trim his “beard”.  Greg says he is not old enough to be shaving.  Peter replies he is old enough to be doing a lot of things now.  This puts Greg’s mind in motion for a solution to his dating dilemma.  Peter is elated at the idea of going on a double date with Greg and an older woman.  Greg finds it best that Linda’s date not be his fifteen year old brother, but another person all together.  Greg immediately comes up with the name and persona of Phil Packer.  Phil is a swinging cat from another high school.  Peter is worried about dating a worldly woman of eighteen years of age.  Greg assures his younger brother that he will coach him in the ways of older women.

The next scene takes place in Mike’s den and continues the b-plot.  After some labored Spanish speaking between Mike and Carol, she shares “good news” that their muchacho (boy) found a date to complete his double date by the name of Phil Packer.  It is ambiguous here if Carol knows that Phil Packer is Peter or an actual acquaintance of Greg.  Did Greg just use “exact words” and tell Carol that Phil Packer is joining him for the double date and she did not question any further how he knew the guy?  Or, does Carol know that Greg is reinventing his brother to be somebody else?

Over in the kitchen, Alice is serving up huevos rancheros.  This a spicy fried egg dish served in Mexico.  It sounds tasty, but I’ve never had it.  If any readers have, please share.  The kids find it way too spicy, but Alice enjoys it.  During this scene, the chalkboard in the kitchen has a shopping list on it.  One of the items to buy looks to be cable peppers.  A Google search did not produce a pepper of this variety.

 

 

The destination for the double date will be the drive in movies.  As the brothers approach Sandra’s front door, we see that Peter has now adorned a moustache to add some age and maturity to Phil Packer.  Seeing a mustachioed Peter just added more fun to this episode.  Greg encourages Peter to be the strong and silent type for the evening.  When Sandra and Linda come to the door, this comes easily for Peter.  Both he and Greg are quite enamored with Linda.  Peter stares on in a boyish daze at Linda.  I will say that Linda is quite an attractive lady.

 

 

The drive-in theater is playing the same movie that it was when Greg, Rachel and Bobby visited it.  That must be one popular western as it has had a long run at the theater.  Peter, er Phil and Greg are returning from the snack bar.  Greg encourages Peter to just do what he does.  Peter takes this a bit too literally as he repeats everything to Linda that Greg says to Sandra.  When Greg puts his arm around Sandra, Peter follows suit with Linda and knocks her popcorn into her lap.  Greg inquires about the wild scent Sandra is wearing and she says it is “Exotica”.  Peter asks the same of Linda and she replies it is buttered popcorn.  A Google search did produce a perfume called Exotica.

 

 

This scene was funny enough, but what soon occurs makes a funny thing even funnier.  As Peter enjoys some popcorn, the moustache glue he and Greg applied earlier begins to give way and his ornament of maturity begins falling off.  So enjoying the popcorn is Peter that he fails to realize he is munching on it.  Greg jumps over the back seat to try and salvage the sagging ‘stache.  The pair exit the car under the ruse of returning to the snack bar so they can repair the moustache.  The strange behavior does not go unnoticed and neither girl seems to be enjoying themselves.

As the evening closes, the girls and guys share an awkward goodbye and the evening ends.  Greg thinks it went well enough that he plans to ask Sandra for another date on Monday.  He states that from now on, Phil can find his own dates.  Peter is quite confident in his own actions as an older man.  He says that after what he pulled off that night, he is ready to go solo.   Oh, that naïve confidence that can curse a young man.  At fifteen, I’d have probably thought a fake moustache and the presence of an older woman heightened my “game”.

Sandra Martin was played by Candi Crosby.  I was certain IMDB or Google would suggest she was somehow related to Bing Crosby, but no reference was found.  Surprisingly, her career on camera was very short.  IMDB lists only this episode and an episode of The Partridge Family among her onscreen credits.  A Google search added nothing more about her.  Linda, who was played by Linda Gibboney (although this episode credits her as Kathie) worked primarily in soap operas.  Her soap opera acting credits include All My Children, Search For Tomorrow and Santa Barbara.  Her most recent acting credit was in 2005.  A fan page for Santa Barbara states she is now a professor at UCLA.

 

Sandra and Linda were not impressed of fooled.  They discuss what a strange time they had out with Greg and Phil.  Both noticed that Peter’s facial hair was not his own.  Sandra states the moustache was everywhere but under his nose.  She also is wise to the fact that Phil was in fact Peter.  Linda doesn’t know why Greg would pull a gag like that.  I guess Sandra was too embarrassed to share that she put the burden of finding her cousin a blind date on Greg.  Surely she realized that Greg set that up so he could keep his date with her!  Sandra says that one good gag deserves another; Linda is completely on board with this.

 

 

The next day Sandra calls Greg seeking another date.  She claims how Linda has been gushing about Phil and the two of them are anxious to spend another evening with the pair.  Greg is very eager to see this happen and asks if 20 minutes from then is too soon.  Peter is quite bolstered by the fact that Linda wants a second date.  As he passes Marcia, he greets her in his phony deep voice.  Marcia asks if Peter has a cold and he says no, just “devastating charm”.

 

 

Peter prepares for the evening by straightening his fake facial hair.  He tells Jan and Cindy he was shaving.  Jan asks if it was his legs he was shaving.  This episode just has a lot of funny lines.

The b-plot resumes with the arrival of Mr. Calderon and his wife.  Mike greets him with his practiced Spanish.  It is soon revealed though that the Calderons speak English and wish to practice it that night.  They also wish to try the American delicacy that is pizza.  Mike informs the Calderons with a chuckle, “Mr. and Mrs. Calderon, pizza is about as American as are tacos and huevos rancheros.  Pizza is an Italian dish!”  Actually, Mike does not say this, but even watching this as a kid, I questioned why Mr. Calderon thought pizza was an American dish.  The Brady girls pass through the living room and recommend Marioni’s for pizza.  It is where they always go for the American delicacy.

The Calderons were played by Paul Fierro and Alma Beltran.   Paul Fierro often played an Indian or Mexican character during his career.  He was often cast as the villain.  His credits in film and TV were many.  His final on camera appearance was in the 1976 film “Sisters of Death”.  He died in 1999.  Alma Beltran acted from 1945 to 2002.  She too enjoyed a long career in film and TV.  She was a regular on Berrenger’s.  Her final role was in the 2002 film “Buying the Cow”.  She died in 2007.

The establishing shot for the restaurant includes a sign that suggests it is called “Neapolitan Italian Restaurant”  and an awning that suggests it to be “Nino’s”.  Maybe “Marioni’s” is just a local nickname?

 

 

Whatever it is called, the scene in the restaurant is one of the funniest in the show’s history.  Both girls cuddle up to Phil Packer and fawn over him while Greg sits off to the side.  Phil is bragging about some non-existent football exploit.  Greg tries to call nonsense on the experience, but the girls ignore him.  Sandra even questions what it is like to kiss a man with a moustache.  While romantic fakery on all levels happens on one side of the restaurant, Mike, Carol and the Calderons arrive.  Once they are seated, Mr. Calderon states how embarrassing it is to be in the presence of young people necking.  Soon, all pairs of Brady eyes in the restaurant meet and the hilarity continues.  As Peter glances over at his parents, his moustache is again pulled loose.  The looks on everyone’s faces is priceless.  Before the scene wraps, the girls admit to their own deceptive acts of the evening.  I was expecting some kind of remark from Sandra about how flattered she was that Greg went to such lengths to keep a date with her, but that never happened.

 

 

The next scene reveals that while Mr. Calderon was appalled at what Carol called “x-rated behavior” he did appreciate the boys’ honesty in what was going on.  I would consider the girls fawning over Peter to be PG-13 at the worst.  Mike will still be doing business with Mr. Calderon.  Peter says he learned to not act like somebody he is not and to never visit the same restaurant as his parents.  Mike and Carol laugh briefly over this before looking very serious again.

The epilogue has Jan planning a date with an older man and adorning Peter’s moustache.

Thank you for reviewing “Peter and the Wolf” with me.  The episode is a lot of fun and leaves little to critique or pick apart.  Season five gave us a lot of funny and silly plots like this one.  Some were hilarious like this while others were just absurd.  Your own thoughts on this episode are most welcome.  Next week we will review “Getting Greg’s Goat”.  See you then!